I Wrote a Book to Help Others. It Ended Up Changing Me.

It was early in the morning, and I had decided that today I would read my entire manuscript from beginning to end. I propped myself up on my soft living room couch and dug in. When I finished, I cried. I wasn’t crying because the book was done. I was in awe, because page after page I could trace the Heart and Hand of God through the threads of my life. I could see that I had become a mosaic, stitched together by the Master Artist.

That was not why I set out to write it.

The question I’m asked most often when I speak to groups is simple: Why did you write a book? It’s a good question, because a lot of people want to. A national survey by the independent publishing firm Jenkins Group found that 81% of Americans feel they have a book in them. Writing coaches commonly estimate that only a few percent ever finish one.

A friend once told me, “Everybody is writing a book.” At first, that stung. It felt like it shrank what I had done. And in a way she was right: more than 4 million books were published in the U.S. in 2025. But wanting to write a book and finishing one are two very different things. What carries you from one to the other is knowing why you are writing.

People write to build a business, to tell a story, to help others, or to leave a legacy. All of these are good reasons. Here are mine: the two I started with, and the two I didn’t see coming.

The Reasons I Started With

To help leaders like me

I practiced medicine for thirty years before God called me into ministry. I was 56 when I left medicine to serve as a pastor, and later as a hospital chaplain and Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) educator. I thought my journey could help others making a similar transition, and I later learned I am far from alone: 66% of U.S. clergy had a career outside religion before entering ministry.

I also felt that the emotional lives of Christian leaders had been given far too little attention. The cost is real. In 2022, 42% of pastors said they had seriously considered quitting full-time ministry in the past year. I wanted to share what I had learned, and am still learning, about practicing a healthy emotional and spiritual life.

To leave a legacy

This reason mattered deeply to me, and I was relieved to learn that I didn’t need to be a famous author to pursue it. Reid Tracy, the CEO of Hay House, who coached us in our writers’ community, shared that his uncle had written and published a book just for his wife and family, never for the public.

My children never knew my parents. My father died when I was a young teenager, and my mother died when I was 17, on the morning of my first O-level exam. My grandchildren will not know their grandfather, my husband Maurice. We were married for forty-five years before he died in 2020, when they were very small or before some of them were born.

I want them to know the man who was my biggest cheerleader and who loved and cared for me as his queen. I want them to know how he faced sixteen years of stage four cancer with great faith and trust in God. And I want them to know what he told me when I asked how he kept going: “I put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.” Those words still carry me.

I have no idea how long I will be with my grandchildren. I don’t know how we will be remembered, but I wanted to be sure I did my part.

More than our story, I want them to see how the God of the journey has been faithful to us and to those who came before us.

If no one else ever read the book, but my children and grandchildren read it and learned from it, I would be satisfied. This was never about a business deal or a bestseller list. I was in a different season of life.

The Reasons I Didn’t See Coming

The book was for me

Reid Tracy gave us advice I didn’t fully understand until later: first, write the story just for yourself. He called it “the book before the book.” Your own story has to come out first, whether or not you ever publish it.

He was right. I teach that recognizing and naming what is going on inside us is essential to a healthy spiritual life. Writing made me practice what I teach. Putting my deepest thoughts, struggles and victories on paper was healing.

As I wrote, a thread kept appearing. I saw it in the morning my mother died, when I walked from the principal’s office into my chemistry exam and did my practical with tears rolling down my face, because she had told me, “Pet, do your exams when I am gone.” I saw it when I started over in America as the oldest intern in my hospital at 35. And I saw it on the day in 2004 when I said yes to ordination, the same day we learned of Maurice’s cancer. Again and again, I had done it afraid. I had done it anyway.

My journey was not a straight line. It was a spiral of growth. I always knew God was with me, but only by looking back, on the page, did I see the full beauty of God’s faithfulness. It was exactly what I needed.

The book went further than I planned

I wrote for ministry leaders and for my family. Yet some of the most meaningful responses have come from people who would never call themselves leaders, but who are people of faith longing for a deeper life in Christ.

While planning a trip, I mentioned my book to my travel agent. My son, who lives on the West Coast, had introduced us, and we had never met in person. She asked for the details, and to my surprise, within a few weeks she had posted a review on Amazon as a verified purchase:

“The book is honest and reflective, she writes with care and intention, inviting readers to reflect on how faith is lived out in everyday choices and relationships. This is a solid and encouraging book that offers honesty, perspective, guidance, and reassurance for readers walking their own path of growth and discernment.”

Then my siblings, cousins and other close relatives started reaching out. My siblings told me how proud and happy they were that I had written about our parents. My eldest sister, who had not read a book in a long time, read it through tears and asked me to order copies for her children and grandchildren. The sister closest to me in age did the same and told all her Christian friends about it.

Cousins I grew up with, and had not been in touch with for a while, called to say the book took them back to our childhood and to the stories of the grandparents we share. One cousin asked me to write more. The book has reconnected me with my family in a meaningful way, and I was surprised by the pride and joy they felt.

So, Why Do You Want to Write a Book?

Every reason is valid. But here is what my journey taught me: the reason you start with matters, and the reasons you discover along the way may matter even more. Writing a book can change the writer.

Before you write a single page, sit with these questions:

• Do you have expertise you want to share, or a business you want to grow?
• Is there a story, fiction or true, that you need to tell?
• Is there a particular group of people you want to help with your knowledge, wisdom and lived experience?
• Do you want to leave a legacy for the people who come after you?

Your answer may be one of these or several. Name your primary reason up front. It will give you clarity, keep you going when the writing gets hard, and show you what resources you will need. And stay open: the reason you finish with may surprise you.

I’d love to hear from you. Share your reason for writing a book with me in the box below.

Next time, in Part 2: the preparation that makes writing your book possible.